game

Life is like a game of sogpong.
You have two teams of some players armed with raw sausages to hit a pingpong ball through the goal things.
The umpire [that's the person wearing the tophat] may score at either goal.
Goals can be moved by any player at any time.
Players may change sides at random.
The game is over when everyone's had enough fun, or when the last three players decide it is.
The umpire generally wins [that's whoever ends up with the hat].