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Hansen's Procedure (as outlined in »The Tastely Harding Moldocurist's Manual & Factbook«, Albertville 1954) has been known to generate such wildly differing results depending on the solar »drag« coefficient (calculated every 15 seconds at the Mount Effinscab Observatory in Banfoodra, R. of Z.), that I asked Stanley (who had been dispatched from the Assumptra office in July, and already had a fair understanding of the non-classified aspects of the operation) to manually introduce rogue phonisms (we had 17 STDs – with buna gaskets – of spent phonisms left over from the failed Carver Procedure) at the rate of five parts per million, or one every 23.0717 seconds, in order to calibrate the centripedal Doing Factor produced when the solar activity was observed at an ebb.
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