Telephone

The telephone is the greatest nuisance among conveniences and the greatest convenience among nuisances.

i got woken up by a phone call one morning, and it was this guy trying to get me to buy something, or submit my identity for some corporate rapine, or maybe he just had the wrong number. anyway, i hung up on him, and got a call from this girl i wasn't dating at the time who just wanted me to know that she was right outside my door, it was locked, and she wanted to come in and use the phone. i wasn't awake enough to understand wit, so i just got up and let her in. she said she liked my boxers.

Why is it that the wrong number on a telephone is never busy?

When I was a kid, the telephone stayed in one place; it did not follow you around the house. I want to know where my appliances are at all times, thank you. I am not ready for that Trilogy of Terror moment.

How can you detest Graham Bell for creating telemarketing by indirectly creating the telephone? The telephone is not a crapulent invention, instead, it is perhaps the most influential invention in human history. Think of how, despite appearing insignificant and commonplace, a telephone is important in your everyday communication. Better to have your dinner interupted than to hear too late of some interesting example I am too lazy to contrive. Think people! Think! Argh.

Have you ever tried to think up new kinds of ice cream that no one has ever thought of before, like chicken and telephone ice cream? Green mouse ice cream was the worst. I didn't like that one at all.

-paraphrased from the words of Delerium

Hearing some voices on the phone can cause ineffable happiness and excitement. Only the conversation afterwards often fails to live up to the opening moments of ecstasy. Could we invent a machine that, when necessary, transmits significant silence?