Tiger

Today I imagined a planet where all the people are tigers.

But they walk on two feet.

Some work in downtown office buildings and wear gray business suits and carry black briefcases. They are very tall and dignified. Their tails never droop and touch the concrete sidewalks.

Some play tennis and their clothes are very white and I'm not sure how they hold their rackets.

All the tiger-people are vegetarians. Except on Fridays when they eat fish. The oil is good for their fur.

The Tiger
by William Blake

Tiger! Tiger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder, and what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? and what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears,
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

Tiger! Tiger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

Tiger, tiger burning bright,
Put a tiger in your tank.

--William Blake meets Exxon
(and the results are unspectacular)

Whenever I see one of those people collecting money to save the tigers (they are usually men over 50 years old – the collectors, not the tigers), I always give them money. I don't think my money will save the poor tigers though. I've always liked tigers, as well as all other cats.

The Tiger Shark – Galeacerdo cuvier


Size – grows from 10 – 20 feet in length.
Diet – scavengers that eat fish, turtles, crabs, clams, mammals, sea birds, reptiles,
other sharks and anything else they can find.
Habitat – They can be found in tropical waters worldwide, some temperate seas,
near the shore, as well as in open waters.
Reproduction – ovoviviparous; young are born live in litters up to 82 pups.
Gestation, like humans, is 9 months. They are almost 2 1/2 feet at birth and
completely independent.


Young tiger sharks coloring are indicative of their name because the distinctive
dark bands that run from the top of the it's back down along its sides are very
evident. The older it gets the bands fade and become gray or brownish in color.
Most feared by humans; it is second only to the Great White and reaches a length
of 18 feet. The Tiger shark is found in temperate and tropical seas most commonly
along the coasts of South Africa, the Philippines, Australia, the Indian and Pacific
Oceans, and in the Caribbean waters. The Tiger shark tolerates a broad range of
different habitats and has been noticed in rivers and small lagoons. Powerful and
extremely fast when attacking it's prey, it eats a variety of fish It will eat almost
anything and is considered to be the most scavingous of all the sharks. It eats a
variety of fish, moray eels and sharks smaller in size such as Grey Reef sharks,
Hammerhead and even other Tiger sharks. It also eats turtles and birds that rest
on the surface of the ocean such as pelicans and migratory birds.

The tiger – a symbol of independence, beauty, freedom and the non-conforming. The tiger, a being of true visual and tactile harmony displaced in a rapidly diminishing natural environment that emits a deafening roar before extinction.

The tiger gracefully prowls throughout the dense jungle, her silky fur brushing against the rainforest leaves.

There was this tiger, who woke up one morning, and just felt great (yes, just like Tony the Tiger: GREAAAAAAT). Anyway, he just felt so good, he went out and cornered a small monkey and roared at him: »WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?«
And this poor quaking little monkey replied: »You are of course, no one is mightier than you.«
A little while later this tiger confronts a deer, and just bellows out: »WHO IS THE GREATEST AND STRONGEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?« The deer is shaking so hard it can barely speak, but manages to stammer: »Oh great tiger, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle.«
The tiger, being on a roll, swaggered, up to an elephant that was quietly munching on some weeds, and roared at the top of his voice: »WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE ANIMALS IN THE JUNGLE?«
Well, this elephant grabs the tiger with his trunk, picks him up, slams him down; picks him up again, and shakes him until the tiger is just a blur of orange and black; and finally throws him violently into a nearby tree.
The tiger staggers to his feet and looks at the elephant and says: »Man, just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so pissed.«